


The Unfortunate Squishy Incident

by naboru



Category: Transformers Generation One
Genre: Comedy, Gen, Gore, M/M, Slashy, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-12
Updated: 2011-07-12
Packaged: 2017-10-21 05:42:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/221572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/naboru/pseuds/naboru
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Vortex convinces Blast Off that recharging in the desert would be a great plan, which it is until the squishies show up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Unfortunate Squishy Incident

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ultharkitty](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ultharkitty/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Twister](https://archiveofourown.org/works/177858) by [ultharkitty](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ultharkitty/pseuds/ultharkitty). 



**Title:** The Unfortunate Squishy Incident  
 **Warnings:** comedy, gory, implied slash, death of unnamed human OCs  
 **Continuity:** G1 [part of ’s [Dysfunction AU](http://community.livejournal.com/lost_carcosa/5515.html)]  
 **Characters:** Blast Off, Vortex (with a cameo of Skywarp)  
 **Rating:** NC-17 (for gory content)  
 **Disclaimer:** Sadly, nothing is mine.  
 **Summary:** Vortex convinces Blast Off that recharging in the desert would be a great plan, which it is until the squishies show up.  
 **Beta:** [ultharkitty](http://archiveofourown.org/users/ultharkitty) :D *glomps*

Note: Well I don’t have much to say about this, just it was fun writing it. *g*

“Talking”  
‘Comm-link’

 

 **The Unfortunate Squishy Incident**

The Sun burned on the surroundings, heated the sand and large rocks where Blast Off and Vortex lay.

Surprisingly enough, the mission had gone well, and they still had a lot time to waste. Sometimes, Blast Off had to admit, the ‘copter’s ideas weren’t all that bad, like this one.

Sunning in the desert afternoon, no clouds in the sky, it had been Vortex’ suggestion to spend the rest of the time there, before they had to go back to the Nemesis.

The shuttle hadn’t been partial to the idea at first, but when they’d flown over a more rocky area where the possibility of getting sand in his joints was lower, Blast Off had changed his mind.

He’d landed carefully, and opened his cargo bay. He hadn’t even needed to shoo Vortex off his hold as the ‘copter’d left voluntarily, and had transformed a few feet away.

Blast Off had left the cargo bay open, so that the warm air could reach his interior walls as well, but also to have an optic on the ‘copter. You never could know what Vortex was up to, and _if_ he was up to something, Blast Off would see it soon enough.

At least, that was what he’d thought before he relaxed. The Sun heated his frame, along with his energon lines, and its rays were far more pleasurable than they were in space. Less aggressive, the only radiation was warmth, and Blast Off felt his metal plating’s expansion as a calming sensation. His body adjusted to the ambient temperature until it reached an equal level, and this was also so very unlike the feelings he had in space, where his body fought against the temperature of absolute zero, which threatened to freeze his energon, or the vacuum outside which strained at his joints. He really loved being in space, but at the moment this was so comfortable, that he slowly drifted into recharge.

He didn’t notice Vortex doing the same, and they provided quite an interesting view.

A space shuttle and a battle helicopter standing close together in the middle of a desert seriously would be an intriguing attraction if someone came along and saw them.

Unfortunately, someone _did_.

\---

Blast Off’s communication link pinged, and he cursed inwardly as his systems booted up. He needed a moment to realise where he was, and what he was doing, or that he wasn’t doing anything at all.

‘Hey… hey Blast Off, you’re awake?’ Vortex tone was unreadable and it seemed as though he was _whispering_ over the comm-link.

This was really unnecessary, Blast Off thought, and answered shortly: ‘Now I am, what is it?’

‘Uh… well… we might have a situation…?’

He hadn’t switched on his onboard cameras yet, but the ‘copters voice and words triggered the feeling that it was better to do so.

The first thing he saw was Vortex in alt-mode sitting behind him. The next thing he saw and became aware of, were a few humans climbing on the helicopter. They were smaller humans, the ones that still grew and weren’t old enough to know that it might not be a good idea to climb on armed vehicles. Though, Blast Off didn’t think that even the older humans would guess that this was a _sentient_ armed vehicle.

‘Can’t you do something about them?’ This time Vortex voice was amused. ‘They’re tickling me.’

‘What do you expect me to do, exactly?’ If Blast Off transformed, he would most likely crush one or two of the humans, and he really didn’t want to have organic filth on his feet.

‘I dunno, just do _something_ …’ Then, Vortex switched to the standard communication equipment of his alt-mode as one of the small humans tried to smash his windshield.

“Hey, don’t do that!”

The humans on Vortex flinched, but didn’t move and froze in place. They talked in an accent of one of the more uncommon languages, and Blast Off’s still dizzy processor could hardly understand the meaning of their words.

“Hey… would you get off me?!” Vortex nearly yelled this time, and a tremor run over his frame, shaking one of them off, but another one who had climbed up higher, clenched onto the ‘copter’s rotors.

After that, everything happened much too fast.

Vortex yelled again, and started his rotors, apparently to scare the humans away, and - oh yes - he succeeded brilliantly.

The one on his rotors was chopped up, and its bits covered Vortex’ alt-mode, splashed around and hit Blast Off’s aft-end.

The shuttle quivered in disgust and it was more by reflex that he transformed when Vortex did.

Regrettably, he’d failed to notice the other frightened humans, which had run through the open cargo hold door inside his alt-mode; seemingly trying to hide from the creepy, living helicopter, only to be crushed between Blast Off’s transformation seams.

For a second, they were screaming, then the sound of the transformation sequence mingled with the noise of crunched flesh and bones, before everything went silent.

Blast Off tensed. He didn’t dare to move, and Vortex just stared at him, tilting his head.

 _Disgusting, disgusting, disgusting, disgusting, disgusting, disgusting, disgusting_ , the loop echoed in Blast Off’s CPU and he was so tense his joints almost ached. He felt the organic liquids inside his systems, and the more solid parts stuck between his seams. His trance-like state of repulsion was only interrupted when Vortex began laughing loudly.

The ‘copter said something, but Blast Off was still so horrified that he couldn’t hear it. Deeply, he heaved air through his intakes in a gesture of repulsion, and stopped instantly when he saw organic bits thrown out of them. He overwrote the comment of the automatic cooling program and glared at Vortex as the ‘copter chuckled.

“Hehehe… look, you’re spitting organic stuff.”

Everything was so sickening; Blast Off had no words for it. Even on Vortex’ chassis were organic remains, colouring him bright red.

The shuttle couldn’t answer. When the realisation sank in further, the only thing his vocaliser was able to express was a noise like “Uu~rgh” as another shiver of disgust run down his back.

And Vortex still laughed.

It took a moment until Blast Off regained some of his composure and transformed back to alt-mode.

Opening his door again, he said, his voice stressed and nothing like his usual tone:

“Get in…quick!”

He was stupid enough to activate his cameras, looking to ensure Vortex followed the order.

Fortunately, the ‘copter did as he was told; unfortunately, Blast Off saw his interior walls and the red liquid which was dripping from them. Vortex’ next comment wasn’t helpful either in the situation.

“Haha, awesome! We’re looking gorgeous in red, me in red and you in _side_ red… Hm, but it’s a bit sticky, isn’t it? Amazing how much stuff comes out of these little squish balls…”

“Oh Sigma… Just get in!” Blast Off wanted to go back to the Nemesis, to the washracks of the Nemesis to be precise, and he closed his door when Vortex was in. He didn’t even wait for the ‘copter to sit down and powered up his thrusters, accelerating fast.

\---

Blast Off didn’t waste time when Vortex was in and the sudden speed slammed him into the rear wall. He chuckled again as he watched the blood flowing horizontally and some drops flew through the air, hitting him.

The flight was much too short in Vortex’ opinion, he just had begun to see patterns in the blood flow when Blast Off landed on the tower of the Nemesis.

He almost fell out the second Blast Off opened his door, because he was still leaning on it. Staring another astrosecond into the cargo hold, he tried to imprint the image in his processor. It was a pity the shuttle wanted to wash it off.

Blast Off transformed and they entered the lift, which brought them down; neither of them spoke. Blast Off still seemed to be extremely tense and his intakes worked silently. The shuttle had powered down his cooling system, most likely to hinder them from spitting more organic fluids and parts.

Vortex gaped at him in awe. Maybe there was a possibility he could convince Blast Off to change his paintjob. Not completely to red, but the red streaks and traces looked quite intriguing. It gave Vortex a very good imagination how Blast Off would look like if he was covered in energon.

His rotors quivered at this thought, shaking off a few drops of blood, and it earned him a sidelong glance from Blast Off.

They exited the lift, and stepped into the control room. One of the seekers - Skywarp - was there on monitor duty, bored, and looked at them, his expression confused.

“Yo, what the pit happened to you?”

Blast Off didn’t answer and just went straight through the room; Vortex had guessed he would. The ‘copter tried to remember if he’d ever seen Blast Off talking to a seeker, except from Starscream, of course, but he couldn’t recall a single moment.

“We had an enemy encounter…” Vortex grinned behind his mask, walked towards Skywarp, leaving a trail of the red, organic liquid on the floor. He stopped in front of the seeker and enjoyed the sight as he shifted on his chair uncomfortably.

“Eh… yeah…”

Casually, he raised his arm, which was also red, and hey, he had even a few fleshy parts in his wrist joint. Vortex glanced at it for an instant before he reached for the seeker, who flinched away.

“Yeah, it’s all organic, look. We won, of course…”

Before Skywarp could react, Blast Off’s voice interrupted them with a single word.

“Vortex!”

The shuttle had moved behind him, glaring at both mechs, optics blazing, and Vortex’ rotors shivered again. He hadn’t even noticed that Blast Off approached them, and he was highly fascinated.

He’d always thought that Blast Off could be more intimidating, that his silent, inconspicuous manner could be very scary as well; unfortunately he’d never made any use of it, until now. Vortex had to commit it to memory that it needed a few squashed humans to trigger the shuttle’s scariness.

“You.” Blast Off said to Skywarp, who was apparently more than a little creeped out. The shuttle’s engine growled and blood and flesh spurted out from a few of his seams.

“I recommend you keep quiet about this.”

Skywarp nodded wordlessly, and it was enough as an answer for the shuttle, who turned away with the words, “Vortex, I won’t ask again!”

The ‘copter chuckled, didn’t reply but spoke to Skywarp. “I would follow his advice.”

“So? Would you.” Skywarp snorted, regaining some of his dignity and asking stubbornly. “What will happen if I don’t?”

“Ehehehehe…” Vortex reached again for the seeker, who pressed himself further into his seat, but couldn’t evade the contact of Vortex’ index finger with his face. The ‘copter traced over the cheek, and the red streak was a contrast to the light grey metal plating. He continued cheerfully.

“Do you _really_ want to know?”

Skywarp flinched, and the whole situation was much too pleasant, Vortex could have stayed there for joors just staring at the intimidated, disgusted seeker, if it wasn’t for Blast Off to speak again.

“ _Vortex!_ ”

He vented a sigh, also spurting a bit liquid.

“Seems like I have to go.” He waved goodbye and hurried after the shuttle, leaving the seeker relieved and alone in the control room.

\---

Blast Off almost pushed Vortex into the washracks, which - sadly - were empty. He would have loved to scare a few more Decepticons with his new outfit.

Without protest, he let himself be directed to a shower.

“Stay there!” Blast Off said, before he activated the water and it ran down his frame, washing away the first vestiges of blood. The red colour mixed with the transparent water, created a mesmerizing view on the ground, and then went down the drain.

Vortex tilted his head slightly, staring at Blast Off who stood a few feet away, trying to clean himself. For a moment Vortex was torn between the view on the floor, and the one Blast Off provided. He didn’t have both regularly, but he decided that Blast Off was more interesting.

Enjoying the show, Vortex didn’t move and just let the water flow. Unlike Blast Off, he didn’t really care about the organic filth, well, mostly. At least, he wasn’t as desperate as the shuttle to get it off.

“What are you staring at?” Blast Off snapped, causing Vortex to smirk.

“Nothing?”

Huffing through his vents - still spitting organic stuff - Blast Off glared at him for an astrosecond.

“Well, if you don’t want to get clean, then help me instead!”

Vortex grin broadened; this was unexpected. He didn’t even bother to deactivate the shower when he drew closer to the shuttle, carefully.

“Can do that…”

Blast Off gave him another look. “You can help me with my back. I can’t reach it… obviously.”

“Of course, whatever you say.”

Vortex’ day got better by every klik. First the experience of his rotors cutting through flesh and bones, then the sudden re-paint, and now he had the chance to be near Blast Off without having to worry about his personal boundaries.

The ‘copter examined his team mate’s back, tracing over the rims of transformation seams and doing everything but cleaning, merely smearing the blood and squish over the frame.

“You need to remove a few of my plates. The… filth is under the surface.” Blast Off’s tone still sounded tensed, but underlying this Vortex also heard annoyance.

“Sure.” Shrugging, the ‘copter didn’t react to the irritation, and began to remove the first plate with care. Every move was well thought out, and he deliberately touched everything more than necessary. He knew it could be risky doing this to the shuttle, but as long as Blast Off didn’t say anything or hit him, he saw no reason to stop. He didn’t have this chance often…

Working silently, Blast Off on his chest, Vortex on his back, moments passed without anything happening; at least that was before Vortex laughed again, making Blast Off flinch.

“Hey, I think I found something.” The ‘copter reached deeper into a gap between gears of a shoulder joint and two thick energon lines, and pulled his discovery out.

Blast Off shuddered, and tensed again.

“Do I really want to know what it is?”

“Hehehe… It’s a leg.” Vortex stared at the organic limb, which was almost intact, besides the missing upper half of the thigh, and little ripped-out parts of its flesh. Holding it carefully with his thumb and index finger, he waved it a bit. The bones were broken, otherwise there was no explanation for the three or four joints on it. Or humans had more joints in their legs than Vortex had guessed. He took a closer look and was surprised.

“Hey, Blast Off, did you know that humans have fingers on their feet?”

“…what?!”

With his free hand, Vortex grabbed the shuttle’s shoulder and raised himself, bringing the human leg into Blast Off’s view.

“Here, look. Fingers. Well, weird fingers, but fingers. Why do they need them on their feet?”

“Oh Sigma! Put that away!” Blast Off tensed again, while Vortex chuckled, throwing the leg over his shoulder where it hit a wall with a gross sounding noise.

“You should relax…” Vortex said casually, and the answer was only a growl.

“Hehe…”

“Just shut up!”

Both got back to their work, which meant that Blast Off did. Vortex was distracted by a huge - surprisingly still clean - tube inside the shuttle’s back. At first, he traced over it with two fingers, smearing the blood from his digits on it. The content of the tube bubbled slightly, and he increased the pressure of his touch.

Blast Off’s intakes hitched, but he kept quiet. Smirking, Vortex came to the conclusion that he needed to clean off the blood with which he had daubed the cylinder.

He retracted his battle mask, and with the help of the other’s body he pulled himself up again, leaning into the open back. His rotor blades quivered, in excitement and disgust, as he licked over the organic fluid on the tube and extended his energy field for the time of a few hard pulses.

Blast Off tensed, before his engine revved and the generated vibrations were sent right into Vortex’ glossa. The blood in his mouth was repulsive. It tasted weird, to say the least, and Vortex _liked_ it. He bit back a moan, and remained a moment in this position until the shuttle’s engine calmed down again.

“What. Are you. Doing?”

“Hehe…” Vortex withdrew, and took a step back, leaving Blast Off room to turn around.

Blast Off didn’t speak, gazing at him warily, radiating the open revulsion only with his posture. The ‘copter’s mask was still open, and he had blood on his lip plates, which he felt as a cold, sticky fluid.

Absently, as though Blast Off didn’t believe what he saw, he shook his head, and the true meaning of his words was unmistakable.

“You’re disgusting.”

Vortex sighed loudly. This time, it _really_ was a ‘no’.


End file.
